Women's fashions I hate

Mikey 14 comments
  • Rant
  • Fashion
Women's fashions I hate

There's something I have been wanting to get off my chest for a while now, and it might upset some of our audience. But here goes.

I'm a modern kind of guy, I keep up with the latest technology, news and ideas, but there is one thing lately that annoys and bothers me to no end. Recent women's fashion.

Allow me to draw your attention to what I think are the worst offenders in women's fashion.

Welding Goggle Sun Glasses

Seriously WTF? Are you packing an oxyacetylene torch in your hand bag? Unless you are, then these sunglasses make you look like an alien/grasshopper hybrid. They are ridiculously oversized, like those novelty sunglasses we used to wear as kids. Come to think of it, maybe that was the inspiration. If there was ever a way a female could personify the douchebag look, this is it. The only people who like these sunglasses are you and Paris Hilton wannabes.


Nose, Lip or Eye Piercing

Every time I see one of these piercings, my first thought is "Oh poor dear - she has some food on her face. I better let her know". But I soon realise I'm way wrong. Do you remember that teeth tattoo fad that rose and died just as quickly in the 80's because from a short distance it looked like you had food on your teeth? This is no different. Please cut that sh*t out.

Chinese Symbol Tattoos

I don't mind tattoos, but if you're not Chinese, or not affiliated with China, or any Asian country for that matter, then WTF get a Chinese symbol etched onto your skin? Because it's trendy? Because your friends did? What's that really say about you?

Low Rider Jeans

This has nothing to do with your body type, it's just I am not interested in being exposed to your sweaty bum crack. If I did the same you would surely be offended.

Anyway that's my rant for this month. Feel free to suggest more below.

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Wednesday 6th August 2008 | 08:07 PM

I'm (mostly) with you. The sunglasses are stupid and just make you look like a Paris Hilton wannabee.

As for Chinese symbols, I once worked with a girl who got one on her calf which said "peace". Or at least that's what she thought. It was independently verified by two different Chinese people at that workplace that it actually said "green grocer".

But, as I am someone who once adorned themselves with an eyebrow ring, I'd better not touch that one... ;-)

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The Movie Whore

Thursday 7th August 2008 | 05:18 AM

I have 3 tattoos as a man. My are of my nicknames for my kids. Only I had them done in Japanese symbols. I did it because walking around with the words "Princess" and "Angel" on my shoulders looks questionable and I did not want to have to explain it over and over again.

However some one that worked with my ex-wife was Japanese and asked if I was gay because he could read them and then she told him the story. Though it was nice to get the confirmation that I have the right symbols on my arms.

The shades look dumb. They look dumb on Paris and they look dumb on you.

The hip huggers to show off your tramp stamp, slut sign or whatever else you want to call that ridiculous little tattoo and your thong and you ass crack also make you look like a cheap slut. You may not be a slut but you are wearing a sluts uniform. A paraphrase from a Dave Chapelle bit.

Also ladies if you are going to show as much cleavage as humanly possible don't act offended when we don't make eye contact. You are showing it off and if you advertising your breasts in such a way it is the same thing as saying "please look at my breasts."

As some one who is going to be marrying a woman that used to have all three of those piercings, I too am going to pass.

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 07:03 AM

Being the husband of an ex model socialite who wares such sunnies, I don't know how safe it is for me to bag them... I may be castrated... Seriously though, I think that while they do look a little like the novelty sunnies you won at carnivals in the 80s, they accentuate the cheek bones and make the features (mouth, lips, nose) looke more petite and linear.

As for the piercings, I had my eyebrow pierced until I copped a jab to the brow in a tournament and had to concede after the blood wouldn't stop... I guess it wasn't sport appropriate, but it still looked hot.

I have a Japanese symbol tat on my upper back, I regret it like the buggery. I've tried at least 3 times to get it changed to something more meaningful in Wogtallian, but it bloody hurts to get it done!

I don't understand low rider jeans, they make no frickin sense at all! They don't look good, actually, they look stupid and make the moles who wear them look like bogans, which, in retrospect, isn't that hard in Queensland, bogan capital of the world, possibly the universe.

Jim, totally agree with the booby-flash-shirts, if I were a girl, with massive (or well accentualted) bazongas, and wore tops to show of my femmininity, I would take it as a complement that the world was staring! Personally, I think it is one of the earliest forms of hypnotism.

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 07:15 AM

I just hate people who wear sun glasses at night.
Other than the obvious its not sunny or bright.
Just say "Hey look at me, I'm a lame ass fashion victim".

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 07:44 AM

Girls don't know how hillarious those big-ass sunglasses make them look. It's even funnier when you see a dude wearing them.

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 09:17 AM

I like it when they wear those glasses.... it makes me laugh. Keep on wearing them, please :)

Nothing wrong with piercings... I used to have an eyebrow pierced, but my skin doesn't like any piercing (ear, eyebrow, whatever), and constantly pushes them out (really).

I used to think the Asian tattoos looked cool, but now I`ve heard they could mean 'green-grocer', hmmm. Well, I`d get a Celtic tattoo anyway, as I do agree that it's better to get something scribbled on you that you have some affilliation to.

No-one's mentioned the REALLY crappy hair and dresses alot of the girls are wearing now.... The hair that makes them look like a crazed serial-killer has been chewing on it, and the 50's inspired dresses with the fake belt just below their boobs that make them look.... fat and deformed. Get some pics of those up on the page please. Jeez. Bring back the 80's :)

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 09:34 AM

A guy we worked with years ago said that his tattoo was 'demon' in Chinese but 3 other workers there (who were all Chinese) said it was the symbol for 'goat'. But he said the Chinese guys had to be wrong. One word for that - denial.

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 09:49 AM

I work across from an ICE store. The shop devoted to bad fashion. But the recent fad for flanno's really got me. I mean really. How can ANYONE consider themselves fashionable wearing a dress that looks like your boyfriends work shirt? I think they have a dress based on the old safari suit in there too but I'm afraid to look.

As for the glasses- they worked for Audrey Hepburn and Jackie Onasiss.

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 10:20 AM

well, i had the nose piercing.. but after a bit of an accident and winding up in emergency with a nose ring lodged in my throat (yes, funny now, not at the time) i thought better.. now my new peircing i want is going to be on the back of my neck.. i may go back to getting a needle wedged back into my nostril for another piercing
the big sunnies i dont mind but cant wear, due to the fact that it almost does the same thing as a balaclava and hides almost entirely my whole moosh. which could be a good thing. im with laiste.. audrey and jackie rocked them big time
i can make a suggestion for the low rider jeans and the 'plumbers-crack'.... its called crackle spackle. much like the filler used for plaster walls, but flesh toned..
but when all else fails you can either get our your credit card and go for the swipe, or just drop a 20c coin down the offending chasm
but yes.. there is a lot of bad bad fashion out there for girls. and im glad that the 'harry high pants' thing didnt last too long. that was wrong on soo many levels

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 10:42 AM

I always thought it would be funny to get an asian tattoo that litteraly ment 'Tattoo'

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 12:37 PM

I'm surprised you don't care for the alien look. :)

I personally hate the look of oversized sunglasses, myself, and especially on myself. But I confess I recently broke down and bought a pair (of "kid's foster grants"). Why? Because the adult size are WAY too big on my face. Seriously, though -- the fact of the matter is: Wearing large sunglasses actually does a lot (more than lotions do) to protect the delicate soft tissue around our eyes from sun damage, and I've read that NOT wearing sunglasses will increase a person's risk of cataract damage. But the bonus is it feels really good (as in no more headaches) to not have to squint!

As for wearing sunglasses at night--only people who have the papparrazi flashing 4k watt bulbs in their faces after the sun goes down should be wearing their sunglasses at night.

I'm guilty of low-rider jeans, too, but I dare say, I've never mooned anyone! ;-)

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 03:24 PM

my 2 girls wear the sunglasses!!!

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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 03:28 PM

...in response to this comment by andrew. Tell them from me - "lame"


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Thursday 7th August 2008 | 05:57 PM

yeah, but Audrey Hepburn was cool, not like all those wannabe Paris Hilton's (sad isn't it, when your main fashion role model is a slutty arrogant moron).

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