Why the cinema experience sucks, and how it can be fixedMikey 17 comments
It's no secret I'm not fond of movie theatres. Aside from the financial anal violation received when purchasing munchies and beverages in the foyer, the whole experience in my opinion is sub-par.
There are usually more than enough obnoxious teenagers talking or whispering loud enough to be a distraction, the sounds of munching and crunching, the uncomfortable seating, and of course if you need to take a bathroom break then you're going to miss some of the movie. Sometimes the sound is too loud and sometimes it's too soft. And sometimes you get an awful seating position. Not to mention the hassle of driving out there and finding parking. Yay what a great experience.
But those annoyances are nothing compared to the biggest of them: having separated with your hard earned dollars for
any Michael Bay film a crap-fest.
The reality is that the only indication you have of how good a film is going to be is based on the trailer, and perhaps some other variables like the credibility of the director as just one example. Or on a recommendation from a friend. But we all know that doesn't always work out. Clerks 2 is proof of that (Sorry Movie Whore!).
I am proposing a solution to this problem, something I hereby dub 'try before you cry' TM.
I think movie theatres should give you 30 minutes to walk out and get a refund. Thirty minutes should be long enough for anyone to know if the movie is going to suck balls or of it's going to be worth sitting through. Way back when I was still hitting the movie theatres there were several times when I just wanted to leave, and felt betrayed and angry that anyone could possibly pimp the manure I was watching on the screen. I did leave on some occasions, and once even told the manager that because I had only watched 15 minutes that it would be morally wrong for him to deny me a refund. He disagreed.
This concept applies to many other business models. You can walk into your local music store and listen to an album before committing to a purchase. Some department stores will refund you no questions asked within a small time frame - even if you just don't like the product.
Cinemas would collapse under this model of course, as it they would have to start putting out quality movies every time in order to survive or risk all those refunds. Cinemas know they are dying, which is why we keep seeing gimmicks introduced to help support them like 3D, Smellovision (seriously), Sensurround and more.
For me personally, seeing the movie when it's released isn't at all critical. The entire concept of the 'positive movie experience' is a load of wank in my opinion and nothing will convince me otherwise.
I much prefer to wait a couple of months (or less sometimes) for the DVD release when I only have a $6 risk factor and all my family (and friends) can watch it for free. Try asking your local movie theatre manager to let all your family come in for the price of one ticket and see how far that gets you.
But for those who still think going to the movies is an enjoyable experience, I at least hope 'try before you cry' TM is introduced eventually.