7-Year-Old is Smartest Child in HistoryJake Farr-Wharton 12 comments
This morning, the world awoke to the case unfolding in the USA state of Utah, where a young boy aged just 7, believed to be the smartest child in history, stole a car to avoid church.
While the young child’s choice in car was somewhat questionable, the boy stole the keys to his father’s Dodge Intrepid from his father’s pocket and drove the car away from the church that his family was attending.
Reports say that the boy drove anywhere from 10 blocks to 45 miles at around 45 miles and hour to eventually arrive at his home in 70 miles north of Salt Lake City, Utah. Police, who had followed the boy for the final few miles, arrived at the boy’s house to find him running into the garage to hide.
A statement released by the boy exclaimed that “I really didn’t want to go to church”.
Due to the boy’s age, he will not be charged, however police did request that the father take greater care of his keys.
Indeed, the boy’s ability to get out of something he really didn’t want to do, coupled with the ingenuity which allowed him to escape the veritable boring hour in hell, marks him as the smartest child in history.
At only 7, the boy has plenty of time to practice and hone his escape skills. This will come in handy on the next Sunday diner when ‘the cheek pinchers’ Aunt ‘garlic stink’ May and Grandma ‘arm flaps’ Cathy come to visit; or on meatloaf night; and let us not forget the uncomfortable ‘birds and bees’ discussion once puberty descends.
Young man who escaped church, I salute you!