1st law of attraction:
Characters are naturally attracted to their complete physical and psychological opposites.

1st law of sound:
In space, sounds exist because a vacuum provides less resistance against sound waves.

1st law of gravity:
Gravity is reduced by a factor of 2.5 when characters are thrown into the air.

2nd law of gravity:
Gravity must exist aboard a space craft. This is because the occupants of said space craft were contaminated with gravity when they came aboard, thus creating a convenient artificial gravitational field.

1st law of relationships:
Sworn enemies will have been best friends at an earlier stage of their lives.

2nd law of relationships:
The more overweight the male character the hotter his wife/girlfriend.

1st law of death:
Protagonists will defy overwhelming odds to survive. Death is not possible.

1st law of injury:
Reaction to pain is reduced by a factor of 10 regardless of severity of injury sustained. Probability of sustained injury will increase by a factor of 1.5 when a protagonist is accompanied by a female companion or side-kick.

1st law of fighting:
Non-story-line-critical characters will be trained in at least 5 different forms of martial arts, but may never win a fight against a main character that has no fight training. See the 1st law of death.

2nd law of fighting:
In the interest of fairness, fighting is performed on a strictly choreographed blow-for-blow basis.

1st law of explosives:
Our surrounding environment is extremely sensitive to explosions which may be triggered under the most unexpected of circumstances. Explosions must be accompanied by an inappropriately loud boom regardless of location (see 1st law of sound).

1st law of time deceleration:
Time will slow down by a factor of 4 during any period a vehicle or character is launched into the air.

1st law of computers:
Protagonists are fully versed with every computing platform and operating system ever devised by man or alien.

2nd law of computing:
Computers are extremely volatile and will explode when asked to perform duties outside their normal operation (see 1st law of explosives). The only exception to this law is when said computer is critical to the storyline and is being used by a protagonist, in which case a computer can inherit the 1st law of death.

1st law of ammunition:
Guns may be able to unload a number of bullets at a minimum equal to their expected capacity squared. Therefore, a semi-automatic Glock capable of containing 8 bullets in a magazine is capable of unloading 64 bullets before reloading.

1st law of suspense:
Appropriate music must always prelude crucial scenes in order to reduce the shock to the audience. Every one second of suspenseful music leading up to the suspenseful moment will reduce the audience reaction by a factor of .5

1st law of side-kicks:
Side-kicks must have a minimum annoyance factor of 9. This factor can be increased by an additional factor of 100 when the side-kick is being played by Chris Tucker or any fat white guy.

2nd law of side-kicks:
Regardless of the amount of pain, suffering and other problems caused by a side-kick, the protagonist must never let the side-kick leave his side. Due to their typical physical proximity to a protagonist, side-kicks by default will inherit the 1st law of death thereby increasing their annoyance by an additional factor of 1028.

1st law of engineering:
Devices and machines created to perform the most simple of tasks will be unnecessarily over-engineered. The simpler the task required, the more elaborate the machine must be.