How to lose a customer in one dumb-arse easy step
Mikey 8 comments
If you have ever wanted to alienate your paying customers, take a lesson from Nuance. We've heard some dreadful DRM stories over the years but none come close to what one particular IT professional encountered. Make sure you're sitting down for this.
When Mark ran into problems trying to activate his software online (which is not uncommon) he contacted Nuance support for assistance. Here's where things get interesting. Although Mark is a paying customer, Nuance decided the only way they would help him is if he proved he was a customer by - wait for it - taking a photo of his original CD's and emailing it to support. Let me state for the record: this is the dumbest validation I've ever heard of and it - blows - my - mind.
This stupidity on par with...well I can't think of anything this stupid. Nuance are effectively saying that even legitimate customers who want to get support from them they will also need to have some device capable of taking a photo as a pre-requisite. They are saying that Mark is a software pirate and are punishing him with a convoluted authentication practice. They are saying that a picture of the CD - oh how that makes me laugh - is evidence that Mark bought their software. Could you imagine if Microsoft allowed us to authenticate Windows in the same way?
As Mark correctly pointed out in his email and image to the Nuance's CEO (see below), how can they even know the image he sends in isn't just something he found on the Internet?
As far as dumb-arsery goes, this is truthfully one of the best I've heard.
...in response to this comment by Wendy W. Good find. I can just picture the meeting that happened when it was approved - and there were some really smart people there joking about how funny it would be to get customers to take a photo of the CD to get support - and there was a dumbarse manager who thought they were serious.
1Bob
Sunday 1st March 2009 | 11:38 AMThis is an unfortunate by-product of software companies having to got to extremes to stop their wares from being pirated. I reckon for any company to go to that extreme then piracy must be hitting them pretty hard. Either that or like Mikey said it was a clueless manager.
Jake Farr-Wharton
Monday 2nd March 2009 | 09:01 AMI assume this was an american company?
This is just the type of idealistic totalitarianism that encompases the American business psyche.
peter
Monday 2nd March 2009 | 09:00 PMMikey, you said "Could you imagine if Microsoft allowed us to authenticate Windows in the same way?" well mate it actually happened to me. I bought a copy of vista and the key wouldn't work, contacted Microsoft, they wanted a picture of the certification sticker before they issued me with a new licence key.
...in response to this comment by peter. I'm lost for words.
Jim
Tuesday 3rd March 2009 | 05:55 AMMakes me think of the sites that have the Nigerian scammers take pictures of themselves with signs regarding their man-love or fish on their heads.
fireworks displays
Friday 13th March 2009 | 09:44 PMThis would almost be my number one gripe. Buying software and then getting stuffed about trying to authenticate it. I have been in this position on a couple of occasions. Great site Mikey. You have set it up well.
Wendy W
Sunday 1st March 2009 | 08:15 AMYou're right its dumb as. At what point did some idiot at nuance decide it was a good idea to get customers to send in pictures of their cds? It almost sounds like the work of a clueless manager who forced it into the company procedures. If this is them their stock is falling http://quote.morningstar.com/Quote/Quote.aspx?ticker=NUAN