My Everest Conquered
Mikey 18 comments
Fear is a strange thing that many people often experience in illogical patterns. Take me for instance. I have no qualms taking the controls to freefly a small aircraft, which given I had no experience doing before could have had catastrophic consequences. Although there was a professional sitting right next to me, the potential danger is real, but I never acknowledged it.
But childhood trauma is a powerful thing, and put me in the ocean and I am suddenly overwhelmed with fear. I think I should explain.
When I was a kid we were on a family outing at a beach I can not remember now. I was alone and only about 20 metres from shore when I saw a large instantly recognisable dorsal fin steadily approaching my very vulnerable being. At that moment I can't tell you what I was thinking, but I do know that I froze but not before I witnessed a sudden violent splashing and thrashing in the water.
I have no recollection of being pulled from the water or if I even made it back myself, but there wasn't a scratch on me. My uncle liked to tell the story that I was saved from a shark attack by a school of protective dolphins.
I turn 40 in a couple of weeks and am wise enough to know it probably was just a school of dolphins, and my over-active child imagination just saw a fin and thought shark. But that 'knowledge' doesn't change anything for reasons I can't understand.
Whatever the story, I assumed it true and the incident scared me for life, so much that the thought of swimming any more than a quick sprint back to shore is almost paralysing. If I can't see the ocean floor or touch it with my feet I get very uncomfortable. Aside from this, I'm actually a very good swimmer.
So this brings me to last Sunday. Every now and again we head down to the beach near our home and each time I look at the barge in the distance. And every attempt to swim out to it results in me turning back to shore. I've been dancing this tango for about 4 years now, and it's starting to get old.
This is my Everest.
Now in fairness this barge isn't all that far away. Probably around 150 meters from shore, and yesterday the water was such that I could walk out for the first 110 meters before loosing contact with the ocean floor. This leaves me around 40 meters to swim. The distance isn't the issue - it's the unknown blackness of the deep water that makes my mind wander.
In the photo above I am only about half way, but I stood there for a good 10 minutes. Every splash in the distance has me wondering if it's just the natural motion of the waves or something else. Every shadow on the floor makes me think it's a shark in waiting even though I know that doesn't make sense. Sharks don't wait - they just come.
Then suddenly I caught a break. Someone swimming the length of the shore swam right passed the barge, and I thought his splashing would make a good decoy. Yes my line of thinking had sunk to that level. But I let that opportunity pass way too late to take advantage of it anyway.
With my daughters now giving patronising wave-good-byes to me from shore for the 50th time, I could see the novelty was wearing off for them so I decided to man-up and do this - or potentially die in the jaws of a great white trying!
One last dive and within 30 seconds I was there, my heart pumping adrenaline at 10,000 BPM I exaggerated. I climbed the ladder but the fear didn't subside as quickly as I hoped. My mind drifted back to the Planet Earth documentary where for lunch.
It was then I realised that getting to the barge was only half the battle, and getting back is a mandatory task at this stage unless I planned living out my remaining years on that barge Castaway style. The thought crossed my mind. After five minutes of every possible death-by-shark scenario played out in my mind, and with the cold breeze turning me into a human popsicle I dived in and made it back within a couple of minutes.
My Everest conquered. What now? Do I still have a fear of being shark bait? I have to say it's starting to subside. This evening I had planned to go back and do it again but I sprung the idea on my family at such short notice it wasn't do-able.
So I'll leave it for the weekend challenge, this time without hesitation.
Someone once said we should all do something that scares us at least once every day. I don't know who that crackpot was but I'm sure he was probably eaten alive by sharks.
In any event, it does feel good to be less afraid of the unknown. What ever your Everest, don't give up trying to beat it.
Trent Greguhn
Monday 8th March 2010 | 11:58 PMWhat a great article, this is one of my favorite articles I've read in a while.
I'm impressed man. I know as well as you that what you did might sound like an average day to someone but when we have a fear driving us it makes what you did anything but typical.
And don't worry about Rodney's comment. Your chances of being attacked by a shark are 1 in 11.5 million. Being killed by a shark? 1 in 264 million. But as you said, the stats can say all they want. Being scared of sharks is a very real feeling.
Joe Marco
Tuesday 9th March 2010 | 03:24 AMGood on you, Mate!
Papa
Tuesday 9th March 2010 | 05:04 AMHa, what a great article man.
But too be honest with all of the crazy deadly things that live in the water in Australia, I wouldn't want to swim there either!
I have the same fear myself. I just typed this story of how I obtained my fear, but pressed the delete button realizing it might put you in the opposite direction of conquering yours. So having said that, good job dude!
Thanks everyone!
@Rodney
Those people who swim to Rotto are insane! Seriously I don't know how they do it.
@Trent
I like those odds :-)
@Joe Marco
Cheers matey!
@Papa
Thanks for sparing me :-)
Jake Farr-Wharton
Tuesday 9th March 2010 | 08:38 AMI was going to joke and say, "clearly photoshopped" to the first picture, allas, I was trumped!
Great story Mike, really!
We've got shark nets all the way along our most popular beaches here in Qld, but I've spent some time scuba diving at reefs and shipwrecks. For me, at least, it helps being able to see what is lurking under the water. I've seen a hand full of sharks lurking around reefs and wreck sites, but the interesting thing is that they don't seem to care! ... but that doesn't stop me from quickly surfacing from a 'cramp' or 'early lunch'.
Also, you mentioned you were going to have a swim in the avo... Dask and Dawn are the two identified times where you are most likely to get chomped, which is why surfers (early morning) are the most common people to be attacked.
Sam
Wednesday 10th March 2010 | 06:35 AMThat's such a cool story Mike, good on ya! Made great reading for this morning's wake up material :-) So what's next on the list?
...in response to this comment by Sam. Thanks Sam - glad to make your morning! What's next? Well I start my first official flying lesson in a few weeks. I'll probably have a story about that too :-)
Rodney
Thursday 11th March 2010 | 07:26 PM...in response to this comment by Mikey. Wow you're really going ahead with flying lessons? That's so cool: good on you for going after a dream.
henk van der gaast
Thursday 11th March 2010 | 08:39 PMevenings can be good... I remember one evening where the surf built and built to a thumping 5 ft (that's about 7ft in today's girly measure). The sunset and the clouds and the reflectivity of the water surface made it near impossible to see them rolling in. A sort of pink swirled grey out.
It was my biggest surf till the next 5am... It was a real cranking 7ft reef churner. Got a little bit injured too.
I am too old and fat for all that now but the most sharks Ive seen are bullies investigating at sunset whilst I am estuary crawling for flatties and bream (porgies to the seppo's). Now that isn't a nice sensation at all.
I have seen a white take something once. My mate and Dad on the beach both leaped up too. The grey on grey, too far away...I think it grabbed a local seal. Who knows? It was quick and impressive and about two tonne.. A bit like my first girlfriend without the early 70's pallor. Had she been in the water, all the seals around Tomakin would have been mopped up.
I wasn't supposed to mention these was I? The bit about my first girlfriends eating habits I mean.
Does Rudolph have a girlfriend?
Trent Greguhn
Thursday 11th March 2010 | 11:11 PM...in response to this comment by henk van der gaast. Yes, Tyler is married I believe.
Henk V
Sunday 14th March 2010 | 10:58 AMJake's my girlfriend.... with a kilo of matted fur on that back how could you not instantly fall in love with the guy?
When PZ Myers meets him he is going to locked up and shipped back to the states
Hala
Wednesday 19th May 2010 | 01:29 AMWow I loved your story. I am not afraid of sharks when I can see them I have evan been scuba diving with nurse sharks although they are not agressive. However I get very nervous in murky water when I don't know whats around me. I toatly get your fear.
Henk V
Wednesday 19th May 2010 | 08:27 AMNo, Hala... perfectly acceptable to be afraid of bull sharks
Papa
Wednesday 19th May 2010 | 08:47 AM...in response to this comment by Henk V. Used to Live in VABeach on the east coast. While I was surfing, a young boy was attacked and his lower half of his body was taken by a bull shark about a kilometer or two down the beach from me. I didn't know it until I saw it on the news, needless to say I made sure there was quite a few surfers in the water the next time I went in. But I am deathly afraid of the f*ckers!
Henk V
Wednesday 19th May 2010 | 09:18 AMApparently the story of Jaws was based on a big bullie or a pack of bullies at the turn of the 20'th century.
Apart from being the most notorious dumb feeder (i.e. most astounding food harvester), bull sharks attain an astounding mass. A nine foot bull shark is about as impressive as a 12 foot white.
Scoot around some of the capture pictures where you have a person as size reference.
Bull sharks assert their predation at a smaller size ration than other big predators. They throw the old 1 1/2 prey to predator rule of thumb in the bin. Probably because they hunt in multiples.
Nature is fun. Its good being part of nature...Just not too much!
Trent Greguhn
Wednesday 19th May 2010 | 09:42 AM...in response to this comment by Papa. I think I'm never, ever, ever going into the ocean again.
Henk V
Wednesday 19th May 2010 | 11:01 AMTrent, after a while your frontal lobes do override your limbic system! 8-)
Get one of these to teach yourself that no matter what happens, you'll be snug and safe.
http://www.geekologie.com/2010/05/12/shark-bag-2.jpg
Rodney
Monday 8th March 2010 | 11:35 PMExcellent article, Mikey.
I too have a fear of sharks that isn't entirely rational. Or rather, I have a fear of having part or all of my body eaten - probably part more than all, in fact. Like you, I grew up in a beach culture city and spent a lot of time going to the beach, when younger and I have *always* had a fear of sharks, when I get out a bit deeper (which, if you look at recent history of shark attacks here, makes no sense as the last few people to die were attacked in knee deep water - just to make it more scary for you).
All my friends would swim out as far as they liked without thinking about it and I would tag along, watching every shadow and darker-than-surrounding patches of water for any sign of movement towards me, trying to be brave while just wishing they'd turn around. How people swim to Rotto each year is beyond me.
Well done for conquering your fears.
Oh and have a guess which capture image I got for this comment? :-P